Heyyyyyyyy Wattttt izzzzz uppppp????

I, in my (failing) quest to be modern, use AIM to talk to my friends. I am not nearly adept in chat etiquette. I thought I knew enough at "lol", "btw", and "ttyl" but upon "chating" with people I have found that everything has changed, again.

The first sign was when I was greeted with a "heyyyy" instead of "hey". Why the extra "y"s? Apparently subtracting vowels is also popular. "whts hpping?". OMG is now oh-em-gee. For some reason "cool" has been replaced by "kewl"; does it not take more effort to change letters then to repeat them? I'm told the reason for the new language is to be faster, but I think it is just to have an excuse to make up a new language

I understand the concept of "lol"- its what you say when something is funny, but now it is just what you say when you don't know how to respond. Lol may be the hardest thing to respond to, but apparently I'm supposed to respond with another lol or haha. I've seen conversations of just hahas and lols; I'm wondering what is so funny! What is the point of chatting when no information is communicated?

Imagine what a verbal IM conversation would sound like:

PERSON ONE: Heyyyy (pronounced haaaaayyy)

PERSON TWO: Heyyyyy

PERSON ONE: Watz up?????? (pronounced like spelled- all question marks are said aloud)

PERSON TWO: nm u? (pronounce nim u)

PERSON ONE: nm

PERSON TWO laughs

PERSON ONE laughs

and on and on...

another thing iv notticed iz dat ppl are giving their similes multiple smiles. is dis a statement about multiple chined ppl? :)))))))). y r our smileys obeast????

ppl also think is is just FINE to florget caps and punctuation unless they add empasis!!! i dont get it

Still don't get it...

P.S. For some reason my post did not get published with the correct spaceing sorry.